Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
