WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
