The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
