I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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