There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
