Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i think i just lost a toe
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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