your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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