Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
