I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
