Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
