And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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