lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
