We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
