All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
