Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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