New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
