im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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