I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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