at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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