Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
