i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
