So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You pole danced in your parka.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
