going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
