the room spins SO much faster in panama
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
