somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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