Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
