sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
