If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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