oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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