wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
