My sheets look like a crime scene.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
