I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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