hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she peed on how many people?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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