"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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