barbara walters just said penis...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
