what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
