Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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