wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
