I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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