are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
