I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
