My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
