I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
