I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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