Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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