I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
