Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
