Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
please come you make the beer taste better
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
