I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
