i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
