Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
