time to smoke my breakfast
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
