I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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